July 28, 2021

The Hazards of Speaking About Your Goals

Is there an inverted relationship between talking and doing – when it comes to attaining objectives? Does speaking about goals assist strengthen them or jinx them? I read an intriguing blog by Julian Mendoza discussing Derek Silver’s video suggesting you should keep your goals to yourself and not discuss them. It’s a fascinating point and the majority of the comments to his blog site didn’t get what Derek was talking about, so let me take a couple of minutes to cover the topic … it could be really beneficial for you.

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To start with the truths. Derek cited three prominent social scientists (Kurt Lewin, Vera Mahler & Peter Gollwitzer) who addressed this area, keeping in mind that speaking about objectives, particularly when acknowledged by another person, produces a soothing sense that “feels” like the objective has actually currently been accomplished, certainly underway, and functions as a substitution for the actual work required to achieve the goal. In a minimum of one research study, it served to make the “talkers” less most likely to follow through on the steps required to reach an objective.

From checking out Derek’s blog, you may think that talking is the issue. It’s not.

It is, rather, the convenience that goes along with talking Let me explain. Of all when we talk about our objectives, we typically experience a relief in confession and self disclosure (which is comforting), plus we get the favorable result of it “feeling” like we are currently on the way.

Second, the majority of people when hearing someone else talk about an objective, engage in some kind of listening, agreeing, supporting and/or mildly comforting behavior. No they state something reassuring and in so doing in fact contribute to assisting us not accomplish our goals. Saying something supportive really prevents the individual requiring to make a modification?

From my viewpoint, we all require a specific level of pain going on to achieve an objective. We need to desire it. And “desiring it” is much better served by being in touch with the pain of not achieving the objective, then it is with the advantages of arriving. Simply the method we are wired, although both are important.

Goals that represent habits modification, are enhanced by both a pull (favorable gain) and a push (unfavorable effect if we remain where we are at). And the fact that someone else acknowledges our objective, produces a “substitutional truth” (as Kurt Lewin would define it where we substitute the conversation of talking about it, for the reality of accomplishing it) that even more minimizes our capability to gain access to discomfort to drive us toward a goal.

If you consider all the time invested in speaking about objectives, time invested in meetings, forums, you realize there are a lot of opportunities to hinder ourselves. Be careful about talking, such that it does not act to thwart you from achieving the objectives you have running in your life today. Beware that you don’t succumb to the convenience of “speaking about it,” and delay putting in the required action steps to move you down the course.

Bottom Line: Speaking about your objectives, to the degree it reduces a few of the pain that is encouraging you to accomplish that goal, is inversely associated to achieving objectives. Take care when you speak about what you’re going to do, what you’re going to achieve, that you do not confuse the convenience of self disclosing with the satisfaction that comes from actually making development, or the comfort of recognition and listening from others, as a sign that you’re already nearly there.

I read an intriguing blog by Julian Mendoza commenting on Derek Silver’s video suggesting you should keep your objectives to yourself and not talk about them. Derek cited 3 prominent social scientists (Kurt Lewin, Vera Mahler & Peter Gollwitzer) who addressed this location, noting that talking about goals, especially when acknowledged by someone else, creates a reassuring sense that “feels” like the objective has actually currently been achieved, definitely underway, and serves as a replacement for the actual work needed to accomplish the objective. Second, a lot of individuals when hearing somebody else talk about a goal, engage in some type of listening, concurring, supporting and/or slightly comforting habits. And the reality that somebody else acknowledges our goal, creates a “substitutional reality” (as Kurt Lewin would define it where we replace the discussion of talking about it, for the truth of achieving it) that further minimizes our ability to gain access to discomfort to drive us toward an objective.

Be careful about talking, such that it does not act to hinder you from achieving the goals you have operating in your life today.

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